Okay so, I'm just checking in cause there's something I have realized recently. I have two personalities. I'm not skitzophrenic or anything, it's just I've noticed how I can be one person around some people and be a completely different one around another. Sort of like major mood swings. I'm not writing this down to ask for help, because I know no-one will hear. I'm just telling myself more or less. There is this person who, when I'm around them, I can be the darker side of me. The side who has secrets and big problems, and when I'm around them, I let all my worries drag me down to lowest I can possibly be. I will never run back to being the person I was, but I'm not going to say I will never be her again, because as far as I know, I'm only human and self restraint only goes so far. But I do hope I will never go back there. The other side of me, I am happy to say, is a much jollier person with a happy-go-lucky attitude. I like her a lot more. This attitude is a can do attitude, but I will fill myself in about her on a later blog. But the darker side, I need to de-tox her away. You see I am forever seeking attention when I am her, always wanting more. I gave myself insomnia when I was in this personality. And OCD. I know I sound troubled, but I refuse to think it's serious. This may sound immature but I can work towards a life of purity. I have dug myself a hole, and now need to climb out of it.
Coming off that subject now I would just like to say, it is my favorite day of any month; The 23rd!!! But I have to say also, the timing on this post is very off. It is the 24th 0039hr. But I'm happy I caught this magical number before it slipped from my grip completely.
-BB
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Hey, don't worry as I always say - "I'm a million different people from one day to the next"
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a person who has found their true self. I feel you have to find yourself before becoming some-one different. I am still on that journey, but I am neither rushing it, nor stalling it for once one journey is finished another will commence, only to be greater than the next. Your way of living sounds great : ) Thank you.
ReplyDeleteIts so funny you should say that. Right now at this point in time I have absolutely no idea who I am. I am trying to find out who I am but reckon by the time I know it may well be time to leave the world so its best to try and enjoy the journey. Thank you for your kind words. :)
ReplyDeleteThat sound spot on. Enjoy the journey as you may have little spending time at the destination. None of us should feel we have to be a certain self for soemone else, so it's good to take time finding the person you want to be. Make it count and have fun. : )
ReplyDeleteIf you want to humor yourself you should Google "schizotypal."
ReplyDeletePeople with this mental disorder have different personalities, but they are fully aware of them and choose when to use what. Interestingly enough one of the signs is "suspicious or paranoid thoughts about bodily image," so many people who are schizotypal also develop eating disorders.
It's interesting. [: